Until We Meet Again
by JensensMisses
Summary: Kelly is stuggling to cope with Andys death and to make matters worse it's Andys birthday, the first one since he's died. How long until something goes wrong? And who will be there to help Kelly realise that some things he just can't control? Story is complete!
1. Chapter 1

**So here's another story I had started to write on my laptop ages ago, I found it recently and after altering it a little I thought I'd upload and see what you awesome people think of it. Obviously it's quite old as I'm mentioning the death of Andy and his first birthday since he's died but I hope you still like it. I am working on another Chicago Fire story at the minute but I'm not happy with it yet so if you don't like this one maybe you'll like the next. Anyway's enough with the rambling on...**

**I own nothing... unfortunately**

_"You should've vented the back" Casey said heading back towards the firestation._

_"We're called the rescue squad Casey, we don't vent. You shouldn't have put Andy through the window"_ Severide argued back watching as Matthew Casey shook his head. _"I don't have to explain myself to you, I sleep like a baby. You?"_

Kelly tossed and turned in his bed. Dreams of the day Andy Darden had burned to death and the argument he and Casey had had at the fire station were haunting him. It had been months since the fatal accident but Andys birthday was today and the nightmares had started again. He sat up in bed not missing how clammy his body felt, throwing the covers off of him he got out of bed and went downstairs. The clock stating it was only 3:10 am. _Too early to be up_ he thought running a hand down his face. He headed for the refrigerator and drank some juice from the carton before sitting at the table.

That's where Shay found him three hours later. She crept over to her sleeping friend and gently nudged his shoulder. Kelly awoke with a jump. "Hey, I didn't mean to scare you" Shay said holding her hands up and taking a step back.

Kelly rubbed his hands down his face. "I didn't mean to scare you" he said smiling at her.

Shay smiled back and rested her hand on her friends arm. "Still having the dreams huh?"

"I just wanna get his birthday over with, they'll probably stop then"

Shay raised her eyebrows. "Get it over with?" she asked walking to the refrigerator. "You're still going to the little get together right?"

"They wanna celebrate, what're we meant to be celebrating exactly?" Kelly stood up making his way towards the stairs.

Shay turned around. "You celebrate his life; you share memories with people he loved, people who loved him".

Severide stopped halfway up the staircase turning around. "You can't celebrate the birthday of someone who's dead" He continued up the stairs.

Shay stood with the milk in her hand, staring at the empty space where her friend had stood seconds ago. She couldn't believe what Kelly had said about Andy. They had been best friends for years. She put it down to lack of sleep and placed the milk on the counter. She was tempted to follow him but decided he needed his space, _give him time and talk to him at work_ she thought.

C.F.

Kelly arrived at work half an hour early and went straight to the gym. He dropped his bag on the floor and grabbed the boxing gloves from their peg before putting them on. He headed straight for the punching bag and hit it with all the energy he could muster. Every time he thought of the day Andy died his punches got harder, he could feel the sweat pouring from his body, his arms ached but still he hit the bag.

"Something on your mind?" Chief Boden asked from the doorway, arms folded.

He stopped punching the bag but did not turn around. "Not anymore" Kelly said breathlessly. Boden nodded and walked away.

Kelly hit the bag one last time as hard as he could and watched as it swung back and forth. He removed the gloves and replaced them on the peg, grabbed his bag and made his way to the showers. Ignoring the looks he received as he passed through the locker area.

Matthew Casey watched as Kelly walked past and headed for the showers. He didn't miss the look on Severides face. The one he'd worn for the last week, he knew it was about Andy as he'd seen that look on his own face knowing that his birthday was coming up.

"Did Kelly just pass through here?" Shay asked Matt.

"Um, yeah he's gone in the shower. Everything ok?" Casey asked knowing it wasn't.

"He's been having nightmares about Andy the past week and he hasn't been sleeping much".

"Have you spoken to him about it?" Matt asked concerned.

"I've tried. But you know Kelly, at the mention of sharing feelings he's out of the room like lightening. I dunno what to do". Shay sighed.

"Want me to talk to him?"

"You can try" Shay shrugged knowing it would most likely be a waste of breath with Casey even trying.

"I'll offer him a few beers that should get him talking" Casey smiled.

C.F.

The hot water felt good running down his body, he felt his muscles relaxing slowly and felt a lot better than he had that morning. He stepped out, quickly towelled his body over and got his uniform on. Pushing a hand back through his hair and looking in the mirror. His reflection mirrored how he felt inside and he knew people would be asking him questions about what was wrong but there was no time to do anything as the alarm sounded.

Truck 81, ambulance 61, squad 3 …

The trucks arrived at the accident in quick time. Kelly jumped from the truck and took in the scene in front of him, a factory fire that was quickly becoming out of control. He looked over at Casey who was talking to someone who worked there.

"Casey you go through the front, Severide go around the back. We've been informed there are still people in there" Chief Boden told the two Lieutenants.

They set to work as quickly as possible. Kelly stepped back as the heat hit him instantly, he scanned the room for any injured workers.

"Fire Department, call out!" Kelly shouted, listening for any cries for help. Hearing and seeing no-one he went towards an office opposite. The flames were quickly getting worse. "Fire Department, call out!" He shouted again scanning the room. He caught sight of a body on the floor and rushed towards it. Severide noticed just how big the man was as he got closer. He checked for a pulse and found it was fast. He spoke into his radio. "Chief I got a man here on the first floor. I ain't gonna be able to carry him myself"

Chief Boden listened carefully as Severide spoke. He looked over and saw Casey taking someone over to Shay and Dawson. "Casey! Severides found someone but he needs your help"

"On it Chief!" Casey called back as he headed towards where Kelly had gone. He entered the building and saw how bad the flames were. "Severide!" He called trying to find which room his friend was in.

"In here!" Kelly choked out.

Matt ran into the room and took in the scene in front of him. Kelly had taken his mask off, had placed it over the 400lb mans face and was trying to drag him towards the door. He ran to Kellys side and tried to place his mask on Severides face but Kelly pushed it away.

"We gotta.. get him.. outta here" Kelly wheezed.

Matt looked at the man and checked for a pulse but couldn't feel one. He looked at Kelly and shook his head. "He's dead" He said grabbing the mask from the mans face and handing it back to Kelly.

Severide looked at the man in shock. "No.. he's alive! Check.. again.. Matt!" Kelly was becoming furious. He went to check the mans pulse again but Matt grabbed him.

"We're getting out of here now!" Casey yelled as he pulled Kelly towards the door. The flames were weakening the structure and they had to get out of there quickly.

Kelly watched in shock as the mans body caught on fire. He let Matt drag him away and when he finally felt the cool air hit him he fell to his knees choking. He let the mask fall on the floor.

Boden rushed over to Kelly when he noticed the mask wasn't on his face. "Severide!" He called seeing the lieutenant on his knees.

Casey grabbed Kellys face and looked at him. "Hey, you okay? Breathe, you're gonna be fine" He told him, though he couldn't hide the panic in his voice.

Chief Boden reached Kellys side and saw him closing his eyes. "Stay awake, you hear me Kelly? You have to stay awake. Get Dawson and Shay here!"

"They left for the hospital Chief, another ambulance is on the way" Peter Mills said, worry in his voice.

Kelly tried to keep his eyes open but couldn't. He was struggling to get air into his lungs and he could feel the onset of a panic attack. _Last thing I need_ he thought trying to concentrate on anything other than his breathing. _He was alive_. Great, now he was thinking about the man he'd just tried to save. His breathing felt like it was getting worse. He felt someone's hands on his chest, then someone checking his pulse. He was on his back now. He tried one more time to open his eyes, happy when he finally saw some light. _"What are you doing Severide?"_ He heard a voice ask and as his vision cleared he saw him, his arms crossed, frowning. "Andy" Was the last word Severide said before he lost consciousness completely.


	2. Chapter 2

**So second chapter and it's only short but I wanted to keep this separate from the next chapter. This will only be a short story and I hope I'm not boring anybody.**

_"Wow this is the last place I expected to find you." _Kelly looked around for the voice he'd recognised earlier, he knew who it sounded like but it was impossible. Andy was dead. "_Or not, I mean you were always a little reckless." _Kelly forced his eyes open and saw nothing but a bright light, there was a constant high pitched beeping noise in the background but all he could focus on was the voice. "_You've been a fire fighter for how long now and you still refuse to follow the rules, you never take your mask off. Never." _Kelly finally saw a figure appear in front of him again. "Andy?" He asked his voice shaky.

_"The one and only." _Andy appeared in full form, arms still crossed but with a smile on his face.

Kelly felt himself choke up. "But how are…"

_"Shhh!" _Andy held his finger to his lips. _"It doesn't matter how, you hear that beeping noise? That noise means you're not dead. So don't go panicking on me. You're in an unconscious state and it's the only way I can speak to you so just listen carefully... I don't wanna ever see you like this again, you look awful by the way." _He smiled. _"I don't want you coming out of this blaming Matt for not being able to save that man, yes it's your job, it was my job and I felt the same obligation as you. But you know it was too late, you knew even before you felt for a pulse that he wasn't going to make it out of there alive. You just didn't want to believe he was dead. You didn't want to believe you'd failed and you didn't want to leave him in there dead or not right? Promise me you won't blame yourself or Matt for this, we all know where blame gets us and I know how you feel about today; I've sat by you when you've had those dreams. Tried to tell you to let it go. You can't change any of it Kel, sucks, but it's true. I want you to celebrate my birthday the way you would if I was there, have a laugh, remember me to my kids, tell them stories about the things we got up to when we were their age. Do it because I can't. Don't go hiding away, not today, for once I wanna look down and see the people I love in the same room enjoying themselves."_

"How? How can we enjoy ourselves when the person we love, the person we're there for can't be there with us?" Severide asked, tears falling down his cheeks.

Andy shook his head and smiled. _"Who said I wasn't gonna be there? Who said I ever truly left?"_

Kelly swallowed. "The dreams…"

_"Will stop as soon as you learn to let go of the past." _Andy finished his sentence and came closer to Kelly placing a hand on his chest. _"Now get outta here, if you don't get well soon you're gonna miss my party and I can't have that." _

Kelly watched as Andy became less clear, his vision blurring and the touch he felt from Andy disappeared slowly.

_"Tell Heather and the boys I love them and don't let me catch you anywhere near here again, at least until you're a hundred years old." _Kelly laughed. _"Take care my brother, I love you."_

**So... review? :D**


	3. Chapter 3

**This took me longer than I expected so I apologise about that. I'm not very good at writing hospital scenes so I hope this doesn't disappoint anyone. I know nothing about medical equipment or what would happen to someone in Kellys condition but I tried my best. This chapter's a little slow but bear with me, the next one will hopefully be better.**

**Let me know what you think. Eek! **

**Thanks to everyone who's read this story so far. I appreciate it.**

"Tell_ Heather and the boys I love them and don't let me catch you anywhere near here again, at least until you're a hundred years old." _Kelly laughed. _"Take care my brother, I love you."_

As soon as Kelly heard those final words the light went out, the beeping became louder and he was suddenly aware of a mask over his nose and mouth. He felt a hand grip his shoulder tight, somehow he knew it was Matt.

"It's okay, Kelly you're okay." That was definitely Shay; he felt her wipe a tear from his face and suddenly felt embarrassed realising he'd cried in real life and not just in his dream. Or was it a dream? _It felt real enough. _He thought frowning.

"Kelly? Can you hear us?" Matt asked releasing his grip on his shoulder slightly.

Kelly tried to speak but it sounded more like a deep moan. He frowned again through frustration.

"Mr Severide? If you can hear me squeeze my hand." He felt a hand lightly rest in his and he managed to give a small squeeze in reply. "Excellent. Now as you're awake do you think you can open your eyes for me?" The voice asked calmingly. Kelly focused on opening his eyes, closing them tightly again when the small amount of light burned his retinas. "That's good. Come on, one more try." Kelly did as he was told, he managed to open them more this time and noticed the light from before had been turned in the opposite direction. Slowly a doctor came into view with a big smile on his face. "Mr Severide, happy to have you back and I know I'm not the only one." The doctor said moving aside to reveal Matt and Shay both with huge smiles on their faces. Kelly smiled back, happy to see his friends. The doctor took Kellys oxygen mask and offered him a few ice chips to soothe his throat which felt like heaven.

"How are you feeling?" The doctor asked him.

Kelly cleared his throat before talking. "Tired."

The doctor smiled. "Well you were unconscious for quite some time but your brain is functioning normally so I wouldn't let it worry you. Sometimes the body needs more rest than even us doctors expect."

Kelly nodded and turned his attention to Shay who was too quiet. "Hey, you okay?" He asked her concerned.

Shay nodded and let her tears fall for what felt like the hundredth time. "Gosh Kel I was so worried." She began, hugging him. "I got the call that you were being bought in and I just… I didn't know what to do. Chief said you were unconscious and they couldn't wake you and then I watched you get wheeled in and you just… you looked…"

"Dead?" Kelly asked realising how she was struggling to find the word to end her sentence.

Shay sniffled but nodded.

Matt cleared his throat. "You were talking, in your sleep. Were you dreaming about Andy?"

Kelly closed his eyes; there was no way that had been a dream. He'd had dreams of Andy, this was something else but he wasn't sure he wanted to go into details. "Yeah." He nodded not wanting to say too much.

"I have a few examinations I'd like to carry out on you if that's okay?" The doctor asked giving him a serious look.

"That's our cue to leave." Matt smiled looking at Kelly then the blonde paramedic.

Shay took a deep breath, leaving her best friend was the last thing she wanted to do.

"It won't take long." The doctor assured them offering a smile.

Kelly looked at Shay and didn't miss her hesitancy on leaving. "Hey, I'm okay. I'm not going anywhere, go get yourself a coffee or somethin'. You look more tired than I feel." He joked hoping it would ease her worry.

Shay smiled. "I'll be in the waiting room." She gently squeezed his hand and followed Matt towards the door. She didn't look back knowing if she did she would want to run back to his side.

Kelly closed his eyes; his smile disappeared once his friends had left the room. No need to put on a brave face anymore. When he opened his eyes again he saw his doctor watching him with a small frown.

"What?" Kelly asked frowning himself.

"Mr Severide.."

"Kelly."

"Kelly, I'm not sure who this Andy person is and I don't expect you to tell me but what your friend said was right. You were talking in your sleep, crying even. If you need to talk about this…"

"I'm fine doc." Kelly interrupted him. "Just a dream."

The doctor nodded picking up Kellys chart and writing a few notes. "Let's get these examinations done."

Matt and Leslie sat in the waiting room, it had been half an hour since they'd left Kellys room but to both it felt longer.

"The doc said it wouldn't take long." Shay complained throwing her coffee cup in the trash.

Matt put the leaflet down he'd been reading and looked at the clock for what felt like the hundredth time. Before he had chance to speak his phone began ringing. Taking it from his pocket he realised it was Chief Boden. "Hey Chief." He said answering it.

"Any more news on Kellys condition?" Boden asked.

"Well he finally woke up about half an hour ago but the docs checking him over so we're in the waiting room. I'll let you know as soon as we hear anything."

"How was he when he woke up?"

"He seemed okay, said he was tired. Think he'd been dreaming about Andy, he kept mentioning his name and got upset."

"It's understandable; today's a tough day for all of us. I'll stop by as soon as I can, in the meantime make sure he knows we're all thinking of him."

Matt smiled; he knew Kelly would know that already. The whole firehouse was one big family. "I'll tell him Chief, speak to you soon." After Bodens goodbye Matt hung up and placed his phone back in his pocket.

"Are you here for Mr Severide?" A young nurse asked approaching them.

"Yes." Shay said practically jumping from her chair.

"Doctor Jones sent me to tell you you're okay to go back in now."

"Thank you." Matt said smiling at the nurse.

Kelly gave the best smile he could when his friends returned to his room; he hoped it was believable to save them asking him questions.

Shays smiled matched his as she approached his bed and took his hand. "You okay? What did the doctor say?"

"He said my chests clear but I might have a cough for a while." Kelly told them honestly.

"When can you get out of here?" Matt asked him, noticing the doctor had left the room.

"Hopefully later on. Been here too long already." Kelly complained.

"Chief rang me just, said to let you know they're all thinking of you." Matt told him.

Kelly nodded. "I know."

Doctor Jones came back into the room with a coffee in one hand and Kellys chart in the other. "So Kelly, I've reviewed your results and I'm happy to tell you we won't be keeping you any longer. You're free to go, but if you have any problems at all I want you straight back here. I mean shortness of breath or chest pains, they are not to be ignored and I don't want you doing anything that may cause shortness of breath for at least the rest of the day."

"We'll keep an eye on him doc." Shay told him.

Kellys smiled turned genuine for the first time since waking up. "Thanks."

"You're welcome." Doctor Jones gave him a friendly nod. "I'll have the relevant paperwork waiting at reception."

As soon as the doctor removed the numerous amounts of wires snaking from Kellys body he was climbing out of bed. Matt and Shay were around him instantly.

"Take it easy." Shay warned him.

Kelly let out a sigh but slowed his movements. "I'm okay."

"Do you need any help getting dressed?" Matt reluctantly asked.

Kelly looked at him like he'd grown another head. "I think I got it." He said trying not to let his sarcasm seep through.

Shay had to hold back a laugh. She looked at Matt who was smiling. "I'll help; it's nothing I haven't seen before."

Kelly and Matt both looked at her with raised eyebrows.

"Hey we live together remember? And I've walked in on you plenty of times in the shower." Shay shrugged like it was no big deal.

Matt couldn't help it, he laughed.

"Just… turn around."

"Fine but if I hear a thud…" Shay joked facing the opposite wall with Matt.

Kelly shook his head but couldn't help the smile that grew on his face. The jokes were exactly what he needed and he was grateful his friends were there he just hoped he wouldn't fall off the bed and bare all to them.

**It made me giggle so I had to write that little bit in at the end. I can only imagine poor Kelly face planting and ending up showing his bare bum to his friends... embarrassing but funny lol thanks for reading.**


	4. Chapter 4

**So sorry for the amount of time it's taken me to upload this chapter, I couldn't seem to get my brain to word what I wanted it to so the story came to a bit of a standstill. **

**I really hope you enjoy this chapter, I did the best I could. Thanks to everyone who's still with me on this, I appreciate it.**

The drive from the hospital was relatively quiet with Matt and Leslie asking if Kelly was okay every now and again. He appreciated their concern though and was happy they'd stayed at the hospital with him. They arrived outside Kelly and Shays home and as soon as they got in Kelly headed for the shower. He still stunk of smoke and it was bringing back images of the man he'd tried to save. His eyes threatened to spill over as he thought about how close he'd been to getting him out. _If only Matt had gotten there sooner_ he thought with a frown. Andys words echoed in his mind _I don't want you coming out of this blaming Matt for not being able to save that man. _He shook his head and turned the shower on full, hoping to wash away the dirt and memories from the eventful day.

Matt leaned against the kitchen counter watching Shay clean away the morning dishes. "You really think he's okay?" He asked.

"Health wise I think so, but mentally? I mean those dreams he's had about Andy have been happening for a while now. He's exhausted but he won't tell us anything other than he's okay. All we can do is keep an eye on him."

Matt nodded in agreement. "What about tonight? Do you think it will be too much?"

Shay shrugged. "I don't know."

Kelly looked at his reflection in the bathroom mirror, he looked tired and pale. Exactly how he thought he would. He looked at his bare chest, remembering Andy touching him there in his last dream. It felt so real, like Andy had really been there. He pulled the towel tighter around his lower body and made his way to his bedroom. As soon as he saw his bed he wanted to lie down and catch a few hours of sleep but decided against it, not sure if he would have more dreams of Andy, not sure he wanted them. Instead he grabbed a pair of loose jogging bottoms and an old t-shirt, putting them on before heading downstairs to Matt and Shay.

"Hey wasn't sure if you were gonna join us." Shay said smiling. "Fancy a coffee? It's still fresh."

Kelly shook his head. "No thanks. I'll grab some juice instead." He said heading towards the fridge.

Shay watched him grab a glass and pour the orange liquid almost to the top of it before taking a big mouthful. "So… about tonight. I just want you to know if you decide not to go no-one will think badly of you. We all want you there but I can't blame you…"

"I'm going." Kelly interrupted her before drinking the rest of his juice.

"Oh… Well great" Shay smiled. "I'm glad you are."

"Where's Matt?"

"He's outside talking on the phone to Chief letting him know you're out. You hungry? I can fix you something."

"Nah I'm good, but thanks… For everything Shay, I mean it." Kelly said smiling.

Shay gave him a big grin. "You're my best friend Kel, if you need anything let me know okay?" She asked walking up to him and giving him a hug.

Matt walked towards the kitchen, smiling when he saw the two friends embracing one another. "Aww ain't that sweet." He joked standing with his arms crossed grinning.

"Hey I want you over here too." Kelly said smiling.

Shay looked over at Matt. "Group hug."

Matt laughed. "I prefer one on ones."

"Okay, Shay you stand over there. It's Matts turn." Kelly joked holding his arms out to Matt for a hug.

"Hey! I don't think so. Get over here Matt." Shay said smiling as the truck lieutenant came over to them with his arms out.

"Okay but no groping." Matt tried to say with a serious face but his smile broke though.

"I'll try." Kelly and Shay said at the same time. All three friends erupting into laughter.

C.F.

Kelly had been pacing his bedroom for the past ten minutes. He was nervous about going to Molly's. Not just because it was (or would have been) his best friend's birthday but because he knew everyone would be celebrating Kelly having a full recovery and truthfully he didn't want the attention. A knock on his door made him stop and look wondering whether it was Casey or Shay.

"Kel you almost ready?" Shay asked knocking again. "We should've been there ten minutes ago."

Kelly looked at the alarm clock near his bed, the red digits displaying the time 19:10. _Shit. _He thought, now he was nervous about being late.

"If you need help…"

"No I'm okay." Kelly interrupted his mothering roommate. "Just give me five minutes."

Shay gave a small sigh. Kelly had been in his room for over half an hour getting ready, not a concerning amount of time but a lot longer than Kellys usual five minute ritual. She was tempted to just walk in but decided to go back downstairs.

Kelly grabbed a pair of casual jeans and a navy blue shirt. He hadn't known what to wear but Shay had told him to dress in what he was most comfortable wearing. Jeans and a shirt it was.

Shay sat on the sofa with Matt; they had been ready for over forty minutes.

"He takes longer than a woman to get ready." Matt joked.

"Hey! I was ready before you!" Shay faked being offended and failed to hide her smile.

Matt raised his eyebrows. "Didn't help I had to go home to change."

"I would've still beaten you." Shay nudged his arm and Matt smiled.

The bickering pair looked over when they saw Kelly coming towards the living room.

Shay smiled. "You're looking smart."

"You don't think jeans and a shirt are too casual?" Kelly asked pulling a face.

Matt stood from the sofa and gestured to what he himself was wearing, jeans and a black shirt.

Kelly smiled. "Copying my style?"

"I never told you you're my idol?" Matt joked.

"You're not getting on squad." Kelly grinned, his anxiety disappearing for now.

C.F.

Molly's was full of the firefighters from 51; Ben and Griffin were also there with Heather. A few regulars sat near the back away from the party area. Andys parents were there too, everyone celebrating the life of a firefighter who had died too soon.

Kelly took a few deep breaths as he, Matt and Shay approached the corner before Molly's. It was a cold night and Kelly blamed his shivering on the night air rather than his nerves. He felt the butterflies in his stomach begin to flare up. Every step closer to Molly's was followed by the thud of his heart, it beat so hard he was worried Shay and Matt might hear.

Finally they reached their destination, Matt reached for the door handle and Kelly stood behind Shay, his heart pounding faster now.

"Wait" Kelly said as Matt began to open the door.

Leslie and Matt turned to look at him.

"You okay?" Casey asked, small frown on his face looking at his friend concerned.

"Yeah I just…" Kelly sighed and hung his head; he was trying to keep himself calm, trying secretly to control his breathing before one of them noticed.

"Kel, it's okay to feel nervous. Even I do." Shay admitted placing a hand on Kellys shoulder.

Kelly looked at the name above the door, Molly's. _Andy should be here _he thought feeling his eyes begin to tear up.

"I know you've had a hard time lately, if you wanna go home just say the word." Matt looked at his friend sympathetically.

Kelly looked at them both, swallowing his fear he took a deep breath. "You two go inside, I'll be in in a minute."

Shay nodded at Matt and followed him inside.

Kelly leaned against the wall with his eyes closed; he couldn't understand why the hell he felt so nervous. Sure it was hard coming here but everyone else had managed to. He peeped through the window, everyone was laughing and joking, even Ben and Griffin seemed to be having fun. He cursed himself for not being able to face everyone inside, people he loved, people who loved him. The pit of his stomach felt horrible and he was surprised he hadn't bought the orange juice he'd drank earlier back up. He had to go, had to escape, he couldn't go in there like this. He turned around; he was looking for an escape route, the quickest way home. His friends would understand. Now, left or right?

"Bailing out huh?" Kelly heard a voice ask from behind.

"No I uh…" Kelly turned to see who had spoken but no-one was there.

_The hell?_ He thought turning around again looking for whoever had spoken to him.

"Never took you for someone who ran away."

Kelly turned once more to see Andy leaning against the side of Molly's building, arms crossed with a sad look on his face.

Kelly couldn't move, couldn't speak, he just stood staring at his dead friend.

"Everyone I love is inside that building, everyone but you."

Kelly felt his breath hitch as Andy moved closer, he stood right in front of him staring straight into his eyes, into his soul.

"I know this is hard but I want you in there, I need you in there. And so do they." Andy said pointing at his family and friends.

Kelly felt the tear fall down his cheek.

"Go in there; remember me for the way I was, not the way I died. I need you to remember the good times we had. Keep me alive in here." He said touching Kellys chest over his heart.

Kelly looked down at his chest and swallowed. He looked back up at Andy. "Happy birthday brother." He said offering the best smile he could.

Andy smiled and disappeared through the door. Kelly looked through the window once more and felt another tear slip down his cheek as he saw Andy standing beside Heather, big smile on his face as he watched his boys play with Matt and Dawson. He leant towards Heather and gently placed a kiss on her cheek before looking over at Kelly through the window and giving him a small wink. Kelly smiled a genuine smile but felt his heart sink as Andy disappeared completely. He took a deep breath once more and grabbed the door of Molly's, finally going in to see his friends and family.


	5. Chapter 5

**Ok... so just a quick note. I'm not sure who is older out the boys, Ben or Griffin. I have put Griffin as the elder boy in this, if I'm wrong please tell me. I was also unsure how to end this chapter so I hope it's not rubbish... :/ **

**Thanks for keeping with me all of you, I appreciate it :D**

As soon as Kelly stepped inside the old bar he knew he'd had nothing to worry about. Hermann saw him first giving a loud "Hey Severide's here!" making everyone turn and look at him. He didn't mind though, not like he thought he would. He enjoyed the warm slaps on the back from his friends and returned everyones smiles with a genuine one. It felt good.

After everyone had greeted him he made his way to the bar and ordered himself a light beer which Dawson refused money for. "This ones on us." She said smiling.

Kelly nodded his thanks and sat on the nearest bar stool taking a long swig.

"Hey Kelly." A voice said from behind him. Kelly turned around realising it was Heather. "Mind if I sit?" She asked gesturing to an empty stool next to him.

"Hey, no course not."

"Thanks" She said sitting down and placing her drink on the bar. The two sat in silence until she spoke again. "I'm glad you could make it Kelly."

Kelly gave her a small smile, not sure if he believed her. "Thanks, me too."

"It feels weird having a party for Andy knowing he isn't here." She said looking down at her hands in her lap.

Kelly looked at her with sympathy, they had been friends once. When Andy and Heather had first met, they'd all go out together. When Kelly had one of his girlfriend's they'd even go on double dates. But Heather had changed when Andy had told her he wanted to be a fire fighter. She blamed Kelly when he signed up even though Andy had wanted to be a fire fighter for years, she'd told him to keep an eye on her man and make sure he was safe and when Andy died he'd been to blame. Not Casey. Him. But still he looked at her with sympathy, he didn't blame her for worrying about the man she loved and he knew anger made people point the finger at other people. He'd done it with Matt and vice versa. The sound of her sniffling bought his attention back to the present and he could tell she was crying. He didn't know what to say; instead he grabbed her hand and gave it a small squeeze. When she looked up she gave him the best smile she could and gave a small squeeze back.

They sat there for a few minutes, neither one talking, neither one needed to. Kelly knew she'd forgiven him.

"Mom! Griffin won't give me the balloon!" Ben ran to his mother's side complaining.

Heather quickly wiped the tear from her cheek and turned to her son. "I told you both to play nice." She said smiling.

"But he won't listen! Tell him please?" Ben asked her pulling on her arm.

"Okay." Heather said before turning back to Kelly. "Thank you." She said before kissing him on the cheek and leaving to find Griffin.

Kelly smiled and watched her leave before having some more of his drink. She had definitely forgiven him he thought as his smile turned even bigger.

"What you smiling at? And what you drinking?" Shay asked nudging her best friend and almost spilling his drink.

"Whisky." Kelly joked seeing her face look shocked.

"Kelly! You can't drink that on your tablets!" She shouted grabbing for his glass.

"I was joking." Kelly laughed pulling his glass away from her.

Shay nudged him again before sitting on the bar stool Heather had left. "How'd it go with Heather?"

"Good. She's forgiven me, that's all I wanted."

Shay leaned on the bar resting her head on her open hand staring at her friend. "Forgiven you for what?"

"Shay." Kelly warned, not wanting to go into any sort of argument she had fogging her mind. He looked at her and almost started laughing. "Are you drunk?"

"Tipsy. I'm tipsy. And so what?" She asked smiling.

Kelly laughed for real this time and received a nudge that would've probably knocked him off his stool if she'd have been sober. "Ouch" He complained rubbing his arm laughing again.

"Uncle Kelly, Griffin took my balloon again." Ben said pulling on Kellys arm.

Kelly felt his heart flutter; it felt like forever since he'd been called that. He turned to face Ben and crossed his arms. "Again?! That won't do will it?" He asked leaning towards Griffin. "What you say we go get him?" Kelly grinned.

"Yeah!" Ben agreed before grabbing Kellys arm and dragging him towards his brother.

Shay smiled watching him follow the small boy before looking at Dawson and ordering another drink.

C.F.

By the time Kelly had finished chasing Ben and Griffin around he was tired and out of breath. He left the boys with Heather and found his way outside; he leaned against the wall closing his eyes and gave himself a moment to catch his breath. He wasn't aware he had company until Matt spoke.

"Hey, you okay?"

Kelly slightly jumped and looked at his friend. "Yeah, guess I'm not quite ready to be running around just yet." He smiled.

"Yeah, I saw you playing with the boys. I'd be tired after that." Matt joked, trying not to worry when he saw Kelly take a deep breath then grimace. "You're sure you're okay?"

"I'll be fine; I'm not planning on running around again."

Casey nodded. "Mills is gonna light the candles on the cake, the boys are gonna blow them out. I just wanted to let you know."

"Thanks, I'll be in in a minute." Kelly said watching Matt disappear back inside. He took another deep breath and was relieved when he felt no pain. Silently thanking the gods he hadn't had a panic attack he decided to join the party.

As soon as Kelly stepped inside Mollys he heard the familiar tune of 'Happy Birthday' being sung and instantly joined in, smiling as Peter Mills bought the cake over to Ben and Griffin who were stood in front of Heather. Both boys took a deep breath and blew the candles out smiling as Hermann shouted "Hip hip!" to which everyone added "Hooray!" Heather wiped away a tear but continued to smile at her boys, proud of them both.

Everyone looked on as a microphone was bought over to Heather; she cleared her throat before speaking. "We'd like to thank everyone for coming tonight, it means a lot to us. Though I never thought for a minute any of you would miss it." She paused and swallowed as her emotions threatened to come to light. "I'd especially like to thank Kelly Severide. He just got out of hospital today and Andy was his best friend. I know this must've been hard for you." She spoke to him directly as people moved to the side. "I was never keen on Andy being a fire fighter as many of you may know. But he'd told me it had been his dream since he was a kid, both of your dreams and… well I just want you to know that I'm sorry for the way I've treated you." Kelly struggled to keep his tears from falling but one slowly trailed down his cheek, he wiped it as it reached his lip. Everyone was looking from him to Heather, sad smiles on their faces. Kelly didn't dare speak for fear of breaking down. Instead he gave Heather the best smile he could and nodded his appreciation. Heather smiled before continuing her speech. "Andy always referred to you all as his brothers and sisters; he was always coming home with stories of pranks you'd all played on one another in-between calls. One in particular stuck in my mind, when a certain Matthew Casey decided to put honey on almost everything Andy owned. He came home with his hair completely stuck together, took him three showers to get it all out." She laughed remembering the look on her husband's face when he'd walked through their front door.

"We called him honey for months after." Matt called out with everyone laughing along.

"It's sad he isn't here with us right now, but I know if he was he'd be having a great time and I know that's what he'd want us to be doing now so please everyone enjoy the rest of your night and do grab yourselves a piece of cake, it won't last long with these two around." She said ruffling her two son's hair. "Thanks again."

Everyone clapped and cheered when she'd finished her speech. Kelly made his way to the bar ordering another light beer from Otis.

"Should you be drinking tonight?" He asked placing Kellys drink on the bar.

"It's my best friend's birthday, course I should be drinking." Kelly said having a big mouthful of beer.

"Good point." Otis replied drying a glass and putting it in its rightful place.

"But this is his last one." Chief Boden said standing next to his squad lieutenant. "Right?" He asked raising his eyebrows.

Kelly smiled. "Got it chief."

Boden patted him on the back and ordered himself a drink. "Glad you came tonight. I wasn't sure you were going to."

"I didn't want to, not at first." Kelly admitted.

"It's understandable." Boden stated looking at his friend. "You look beat."

"I'm good, just tired."

"Get yourself some food; I haven't seen you eat since you got here." Wallace said nodding his head towards the tables of food.

"In a minute." Kelly told him.

Chief Boden nodded and made his way towards Cruz and Mills. Kelly didn't feel like eating as hungry as he was. Food just didn't appeal to him right then.

"Shay said to tell you she's going home, I think she overdid it with the drink." Matt told Kelly placing his empty beer glass on the bar and nodding his head in Shays direction, Kelly followed his gaze.

"Oh man." Kelly said before laughing. Shay stood leaning against a table with Capp and Mouch either side of her, cake all over her face wearing a big grin.

"And she was hungry." Matt added laughing.

Kelly made his way to her and put his finger in some of the cream before blobbing it on the end of her nose. "Drunk are we?" He asked smiling.

"I love you Kelly Severide." She said pulling him in for a tight hug.

Kelly laughed as she almost knocked him into Mouch. "I love you too." He looked at the clock stating it was almost midnight and decided to call it a night. "Guys watch her while I say bye to everyone?" He asked Mouch and Capp who both nodded and smiled.

Kelly said goodbye to everyone and approached Heather last. "Thanks… for everything you said tonight. I appreciate it." He pulled her in for a hug and gave Ben and Griffin a small hug too. "Anytime you two wanna come to the station you let us know." He told the boys looking at Heather to make sure it was okay. She nodded and smiled telling him it was.

Kelly made his way over to Shay who was now sitting in a booth asleep on Matts shoulder. "We ready to go?" Kelly smiled.

"I'd say so." Matt said trying to nudge her awake.

"You do know she drools in her sleep?" Kelly asked laughing when Matt tried to look for drool stains on his top.

"Shay you'd better wake up or were gonna get a guy to kiss you." Casey said nudging her slightly harder.

"Not unless you want vomit all over you." Shay replied finally sitting up allowing Matt to check his top properly. "I need to say goodbye to everyone." She added grabbing Mills and allowing him to help her make her way over to Heather and everyone else.

Kelly watched her and shook his head. "Never could handle her drink." He said smiling.

"Yeah but drunk Shay is much more fun." Matt laughed as they saw Shay start dancing with an awkward looking Mills.

Kelly looked again at his family. Dawson was taking a picture of Heather and the boys together, they were all smiling, truly happy. _That's a keeper _Kelly thought watching as Gabriella showed Heather the picture on her camera. He was looking for a face in particular but he knew now he probably wouldn't see him again. Andy had gone but he couldn't help but feel privileged that he got to see him on his birthday and he knew he'd always be around. He made his way towards Shay who was staggering towards him and helped her into the taxi before climbing in himself.

When they reached home Kelly helped Shay to her room, she was asleep as soon as she touched the bed and Kelly made sure she was under her covers and warm. He kissed her on her head before going to his own room. He was too exhausted to get undressed, he just lay on top of the covers and thought about the day he'd had. It wasn't long before he felt his eyes becoming heavier. He glanced over towards his window, looking at the stars finding the biggest one, he couldn't help smiling thinking straight away that it was Andy. That was his last thought before he finally gave in to sleep, not knowing that a certain friend of his was sitting on the edge of his bed looking at the exact same star wearing the exact same smile. He gently pulled the cover over Kellys body offering his sleeping friend a smile. _Thank you _Andy said before disappearing.

**Thanks for reading, just one more chapter to go guys **

**Review if you like :)**


	6. Chapter 6

**So this is the final chapter, I hope I don't disappoint anyone. Thanks to everyone who has read this and waited patiently while I took forever to update it (sorry about that) **

**Let me know what you think but please be nice, I'm a wuss ;)**

**The show must go on...**

When Kelly woke the next morning he felt refreshed. He knew he'd had a good nights sleep and for the first time in weeks he hadn't had a dream about Andy. He stretched across his double bed and lay there for a few minutes taking a few deep breaths and enjoying the fact that he felt no discomfort in his chest whatsoever. He couldn't help smiling a little. Sitting up in bed five minutes later he got out of bed and made his way to the bathroom, running the shower and dumping the clothes he still wore from the night before in his washing basket. He got the water temperature just right and got in. Ten minutes later his body was clean and dry and he made his way to his bedroom, towel wrapped around his lower body.

Shay rolled over in bed, her head was pounding and she couldn't remember how she'd gotten home. She squinted as the light poured in through a gap in her curtains and pulled her covers over her head with a groan. She heard her room mates door open and close and knew Kelly was probably already showered and dressed ready to start the day. She intended to spend the whole day in bed.

Kelly got dressed and went downstairs to the kitchen making himself a coffee. He'd passed Shays room but decided to leave her to sleep, knowing she'd need it. He took his drink and sat on the kitchen stool. He thought back to the night before; he still couldn't believe he had seen and spoke to Andy. It was surreal and he would never ever forget it. He smiled when he thought about Ben and Griffin, remembering Ben calling him uncle Kelly. It gave him butterflies in his stomach. He never thought he'd hear them call him that again. He was glad Heather had spoken to him and that they were okay too, he needed that. The front door knocked making Kelly jump a little as he was still daydreaming. He went to the door and answered it seeing Casey standing on the other side.

"Hey." Kelly said holding the door open for his friend to walk in.

"Hey, just thought I'd drop by, see how you were doing." Matt walked through the door eyeing his friend to make sure he was infact okay before Kelly said he was.

"I'm good. I feel great actually." Kelly lead the way to the kitchen and grabbed the coffee pot. "Drink?"

"Yeah sure."

Kelly poured Matt a coffee and took it to him placing it on the breakfast bar and taking a seat next to his friend.

"How's Shay this morning?" Matt asked with a smile.

"I haven't seen her but I'm guessing she's gonna be suffering with a bad head for most of the day."

"Yeah I bet. So you're definitely okay?"

"Yeah, last night was the best nights sleep I've had in ages and my chest feels fine." Kelly admitted finishing his coffee.

"That's great. So you should be back in work before you know it."

"Hopefully, as long as Chief doesn't find some reason to keep me off." Kelly sighed.

"Nah, I think he was more worried before he saw you last night running after Ben and Griffin. He was watching you like a hawk to make sure you were okay but after that you could tell he was more relaxed." Matt took his and Kellys empty mugs and placed them near the kitchen sink.

"You wanna get some breakfast? I'm starving." Kelly asked hearing his stomach start to groan.

"Sure." Matt nodded. "You're buying."

Kelly grabbed his jacket and wallet. "You're driving."

C.F.

They arrived at a small cafe called 'breakfast berrys' one that Matt swore did the best breakfast burritos ever. Kelly ordered the same as Matt, a breakfast burrito filled with chorizo, peppers and cheese with an extra crispy hash brown and a berry banana smoothie.

"Nice huh?" Matt asked smiling when he watched Kelly finish his drink.

"I can't believe you kept this place a secret." Kelly said. "I never knew it existed."

"Yeah, Hallie bought me in here after we first met. I've been hooked ever since... I was gonna go to Andys grave, you wanna come too?" Matt wasn't sure if Kelly would feel up to it but he hoped he'd say yes.

Kelly was silent for a moment, he always got nervous at the thought of seeing Andys grave but he knew he should go. "Yeah, it's long overdue." He admitted.

C.F.

They arrived at the cemetery an hour later after picking up some flowers for their fallen friend. Kelly felt his heart rate begin to quicken as they pulled up in a parking space. He was reluctant to get out of the truck when Matt started to get out the drivers side.

"Everything okay?" Matt asked poking his head back in his door and looking at Kelly.

"Yeah, I'm coming." Kelly took a deep breath and exited the car closing the door behind him.

Matt locked it and they both made their way to their friends grave. It didn't take long to reach and it stood out from the other graves surrounding it. There were flowers from friends and family placed neatly in front of the headstone all with little tags with a special message and a name with who'd bought them. Kelly spotted Heather and the boys straight away, theirs were the biggest bunch and he knelt down to read the card attached.

_If tears could build a staircase and memories a lane,_

_We'd walk right up to heaven and bring you home again._

_To a loving husband and father Andy, wishing you were here on your special day. Forever in our hearts. All our love, your loving wife Heather and sons Ben and Griffin xxx_

Kelly swallowed the lump in his throat and passed the small card to Matt for him to read as he looked at the others. Almost everyone from the fire house had bought flowers and cards leaving a loving message that tore at Kellys heart strings. He took a deep breath and unwrapped the flowers they'd bought; fire truck red Shirley poppies, and placed them near Andys headstone. Matt put Heathers card back in its place and gave Kelly a sad look, he too having to swallow the lump in his throat.

"If Andy could see us now he'd probably make fun of us for bringing flowers." Matt said attempting a smile.

Kelly gave a small smile. "You know what he'd say. I died, I didn't become a woman."

Matts smile turned genuine and he even managed a chuckle. "I can imagine him saying that."

Kellys smile faded though as he looked at the headstone and shook his head. "Gone too soon. Way too soon."

Matt nodded in agreement. "We never really spoke about what happened, all we did was raise our voices and blame each other."

"I know. I should never have blamed you Matt." Kelly said looking at the floor.

"We should never have blamed each other. I was pointing the finger just as much as you." Casey admitted with a shameful expression. "I feel like he's around sometimes, I'll see movement and there'll be no-one there and I just feel like it's him... Crazy right?"

Kelly shook his head. "Less crazy than you think."

"You get it too?" Matt asked feeling a little relieved he may not be losing his mind after all.

"Oh yeah, I get it." Kelly replied looking at Casey with a sincere expression.

Matt sighed. "Two crazies then." He smiled.

"Comes with the job description, we gotta be a little crazy to do what we do." Kelly joked lightening the mood. He looked at Andys headstone again. "When we were younger we'd spend hours in my back yard pretending to be fire fighters; saving imaginary people from burning buildings stories high and getting cats down from trees. We'd use blankets tied to one another for a hose and drag it around making the sounds of the water dousing the flames. We never left anyone behind, especially each other." Kellys breath hitched as the blame he felt for Andys death crept back in slightly.

"Hey. This wasn't your fault. It was no ones fault." Matt said placing a hand on Kellys shoulder.

Kelly nodded trying to accept that what Matt was saying was true but deep down he knew he was partly to blame. He knew if he'd vented the back of the house the whole situation could've been prevented and that was on him. He couldn't change what had happened and he knew Andy would kick his ass if he could for blaming himself, so he took a deep breath and pushed the thoughts aside as best he could.

Kelly turned to Matt. "Thanks."

Matt nodded and looked at Andy's stone. "I have to admit it was hard celebrating last night without the guest of honour there, I had to tell myself you were running late to stop myself from breaking down right there in front of everyone. Yes I'm a wuss." Matt joked smiling. "I miss you, Kelly misses you. We all miss you. You better save a place for all of us up there and you do realise I'm never gonna let you live this down when we meet again, you were wrong for leaving us as early as you did. I don't know how you haven't been kicked out of heaven already, I'm wondering how many pranks you've played on people up there." Matt heard Kelly laugh and looked over at him with a smile. "Anyway..." he stopped to clear his throat. "Happy birthday to you brother."

Kelly smiled and nodded. "Happy birthday to the best friend I ever had."

Matt walked over to the headstone giving the top a small pat before heading back towards his truck. Kelly watched him go and walked to the gravestone running his finger along the letters of his name; he still couldn't believe his best friend was there. It broke his heart. As much as he had been nervous about going he was finding it hard to leave but he managed to bring himself to his feet and somehow kept the tears at bay. He reluctantly made his way back to Casey who was sitting in the truck waiting.

Andy watched him walk away, a sad look on his face as he knelt down towards the flowers his two friends had placed there for him. "Wussies." He said as a small smile came to his face and he watched as Kelly got into Matt's truck. "Thank you."

C.F.

Matt dropped Kelly home and he was surprised to find Shay still in bed. He crept in her room and smiled when he saw her sprawled out fast asleep with a patch of drool on her pillow. He went downstairs and made her a mug of coffee and grabbed two pain killers with a glass of water taking them to her room on a tray.

"Shay." He said quietly while gently nudging her.

She responded with a very unladylike groan and attempted to roll over but she got caught in her duvet and Kelly almost laughed when he saw her almost try to wrestle it free not realising she was lying on it.

"Shay!" He said a little louder. It worked.

"Ugh!" She moaned opening one eye slowly. "What?"

"It's after midday, you gonna join the living?" Kelly asked watching her with an amused expression.

"No." She said simply.

"I bought you a coffee and there's two pain killers on the side with some water."

Shay opened both her eyes this time and gave her best attempt at a smile. "You made me a coffee?"

Kelly nodded with a big smile.

"Awww." She said like it was the best thing he'd ever done for her. Coffee sounded like heaven right now.

She sat up in bed slowly and shoved a pillow behind her. Kelly passed her the tablets with the water first which she reluctantly swallowed. After taking the glass Kelly handed her the coffee and her face lit up.

"Did I tell you I love you?" She asked taking a sip of the hot liquid.

Kelly laughed. "All the time, but hearing it again never hurts."

"I love you." She said seriously tapping the bed indicating for him to join her.

Kelly put the other pillow behind him and lay back next to her. "I love you too." He said as she rested her head on his shoulder.

"I love you both." Andys unheard voice said from the doorway, watching his two friends. "Forever."

**Aww that's all folks! Thanks for reading this story I really appreciate it. I hope the ending was okay I didn't want to drag it out. I am working on another Chicago Fire story and I hope when I upload it that you'll have a read. Thanks again :)**


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